A very old fiction...

2009-01-09T02:11:55Z

Seeing as I joined LJ for fic....

Stupid Is (1/1) CSI

Title: Stupid Is...
Rating: PG
Summary: Set after the lab explosion in Play With Fire but before the Season 3 finale. Angst/Romance. Grissom shows emotion and Catherine gets the wrong impression.
Fandom: GSR
Spoilers: None - it's from Season 3!!
Notes: One of the first fics I ever wrote which I've just found on my PC. Was written about the time it's set, so 6 years ago now!

Sara pushed the pasta spirals around her plate. She wasn't sure how she’d managed to show her face this evening, and she had to admit she was beginning to wonder whether it had been a huge mistake after all. Grissom had hardly acknowledged her existence throughout the shift, and it was turning out to be harder than she thought to get back into the swing of things after the explosion. Greg was holding up okay, she thought. He had his humour to cover whatever he was feeling – what did she have? Nothing. She was just plain, reliable Sara Sidle. Only she didn’t feel plain or reliable. She felt something inside of her that she’d never felt before. It was anger, or embarrassment, or…. Fear? She was so angry at Grissom, and his complete rejection of her. How could he lead her on like that? She wasn’t stupid, was she? She hadn’t imagined it all, had she? And she was so embarrassed. She’d never shown her emotions before, and this was her reward. But, the thing that concerned her more than anything was the fear. She was nervous at work after the explosion, and she was nervous about her feelings – she’d never felt unsure of herself before but now she did, and that scared her more than anything.

"Want some?"

Sara looked up. "I’m sorry?"

"Do you want some?" Greg was proffering chocolate.

"I didn’t see you come in – Uh, no thanks." She smiled weakly and Greg sat down idly chewing the corner of the chocolate bar.

They sat in silence, both eating through habit rather than hunger. Finally, Greg spoke.

"How are you?" He said softly.

"I’m…" Sara thought carefully. "I’m fine."

Greg’s expression said he didn’t entirely believe her.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I’m, y’know, fine." He shrugged.

She definitely didn’t believe him.

The silence reared its head again as they both sank back into their thoughts.

"Hey, Greg?" Sara whispered. "You wanna get a coffee after work?"

The next morning, Sara and the other CSIs sat around the staff room, slouching in various chairs, flicking through TV channels and generally killing time until the end of their shift. Warrick had been bouncing a ball against the wall for about twenty minutes now, and Nick had re-read the same article several times.

"Hey Sara, I’m going now. Do you wanna walk with me?" Greg appeared at the door, looking particularly sheepish and nervous. His fringe fell down over his eyes and he smiled a tight lipped smile as he brushed it back from his forehead and awaited her response.

Sara caught sight of Nick and Warrick’s faces as they exchanged looks. "Not today Greg, I’ve got a few things to do. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow though?" She smiled weakly.

"Okay, I’ll hold you to that." He grinned and bounded off down the corridor.

"What?" She looked innocently at Nick and Warrick.

"Sanders?" Warrick laughed.

"Man, that’s gotta be plummeting to new depths…" Nick shook his head humourously.

Sara sat back, ignoring them and thinking about the previous evening. The coffee with Greg has been just what Sara needed. There was something about his attitude that was infectious. She’d found herself laughing more in the space of a few hours than she had done in as long as she could remember, and he always listened to her. She’d not felt ‘heard’ in months. However, she had to bear in mind that he had a crush on her, and everybody knew about it, and that she didn’t feel the same way. She knew she couldn’t lead him on - not Greg. She wouldn’t do that to him. It wasn’t fair to lead somebody on, was it? Not like Gri…. It just wasn’t fair. She sighed audibly.

Warrick smacked her on the shoulder.

"What?" She winced.

He nodded towards the door and she turned to follow his line of vision. Her stomach flipped slightly when she saw Grissom through the window, beckoning her. She didn’t dare let herself wonder what he might want; she just stood up, almost robotically, and walked over to him.

"Can we have a chat?" He asked, and started towards his office.

Grissom shut the door quietly behind the two of them. They were alone in his office and Sara felt a blush run up her neck and into her face. The various jars of pickled oddities only served to make the room feel smaller and the space around them more confined. She was a few inches from Grissom. She could almost feel his body warmth.

"I won’t keep you long." He said.

"Hey, why so serious?" Sara laughed nervously.

"I just wanted to… Greg said the two of you went out last night?" Grissom said suddenly.

"Yeah, we went for coffee." Sara nodded.

"Do you think that’s wise?" Grissom folded his arms.

"I don’t understand…." She shook her head, puzzled.

"You and Greg. I think you should be socialising more with people on your level."

"You’ve still lost me."

"You want to be taken seriously as a CSI, don’t you?" Sara nodded. "Well, Greg isn’t the way to be taken seriously."

"What??" Sara stepped back. "Are you insinuating that because I’m friends with Greg, it’s going to affect my career?"

"You’re more than just friends…" Grissom raised an eyebrow.

"I don’t have to listen to this…" Sara gave an exasperated sigh and turned for the door.

"Wait." Grissom stepped between her and the exit.

"Listen to me, Grissom. First off, Greg and I aren’t involved. Secondly, if we were you’d have no right to tell me who I can and cannot see. And finally, I mean, how dare you?" Sara blinked back tears.

"You are overreacting."

"WHAT?" Sara nearly screeched. She’d given up trying to hold back the tears now. She was so angry at Grissom, how could he talk about Greg, about her, in that way? "Greg is great at his job. You’d be lost without him. You have no right to say whether he is or isn’t taken seriously – and I’ll tell you something – He’s a damn site easier to be with than you are." Sara pushed past Grissom, to the door. "I can’t work like this anymore, Grissom. I quit. You can keep your job, and your so called advice."

"Wait." Grissom sighed, and grabbed her wrist, but Sara didn’t want to talk – she wanted to leave.

"Let me go." She grunted, but Grissom’s grip tightened. "You’re hurting me."

Finally he let go. "Please, wait. Let me explain." He placed his hand on hers, on the door handle. She stepped back into the room, wiping away tears.

"God…" His voice softened and his shoulders dropped as he ran his hand down over his face. He closed his eyes for what seemed like eternity. "I can’t… I mean…"

Sara sniffed, and blinked several times, trying to regain her composure. "Look, Grissom..." She said calmly, "I know we had a…. Something - I don’t know what it was. But you made it clear that it wasn’t what you wanted, so it stopped. Right then, right there. And Greg? Greg and I are friends, that’s all, and whilst I appreciate you’re looking out for me, you are way out of line. You really have no right to assume, let alone voice, any opinions about me or Greg. It’s heartbreaking but you’re not the boss, or the man, I thought you were. You’ll have my resignation tomorrow and I’d appreciate it if you’d stay out of my business throughout the notice period."

"Don’t go." Grissom exclaimed. "Whatever you do, don’t go."

"What reason is there for me to stay?" She shook her head.

"No, honestly, don’t let my stupidity and selfishness force you to give up your career." He threw his head back and groaned.

"I don’t understand." She really didn’t.

"You and Greg."

"Griss…"

"Listen, you and Greg, you’re right. Everything you said. I have no right to tell you who you can and can’t be friends, or whatever, with. And Greg is the finest lab tech there is, you’re right about that too."

"I still don’t understand."

"I’m just not used to this situation. Our ‘something’, as you put it, never leaves my mind. It’s driving me crazy."

"What??" Sara gasped involuntarily.

"And I got jealous. And selfish. And scared that I was losing you to Greg. I mean you have so much fun, and he’s… He’s young." He was practically hanging his head with shame now, not daring to meet her eye.

"What?" was all she could manage to whisper again.

"I’m sorry. Please don’t resign."

Eventually she stepped towards him, taking his hand in hers. "Gil…" She soothed. "Why didn’t you mention it?"

"Because it’s so hard." He finally looked her in the eye. "All those reasons I’ve never acted on it before, like jeopardising the department and our careers, they still stand. Add to that the age difference and the boss/employee stigma…"

"It could never be." Sara nodded.

"I’m sorry I was so childish."

"It’s okay, you’re not used to being human yet, right?" She smiled sadly.

"I blame you. I worked so well as Science Geek Guy." He leant his head in and rested his forehead on hers. "Kiss me goodbye?"

"Goodbye?!"

"It’s time to be that unemotional science man again. This is too hard."

Sara lifted her head until her lips met his. He kissed her as her salty tears ran down her cheeks, and he held her to him as her legs went weak. She pulled away, summoning the courage to leave.

"I’ll see you tomorrow in briefing." She said.

Regardless of how she’d tried to convince herself otherwise, Sara knew she couldn’t work with Grissom. She wanted to touch him every time he came near her, and knowing now that he wanted to do the same was too much. If they couldn’t be together, it would have to be a clean break. She wrote out her resignation, requesting a transfer to any other CSI department in the country. Anywhere but here.

"Cath? Can I give you this?" Sara jogged down the corridor, passing the envelope to Catherine.

"Sure doll, what is it?"

"It’s a request for a transfer... Or failing that, my resignation."

"What?? What’s happened?" Catherine gasped, and pulled her into the nearest office.

"Nothing really. It’s nothing to do with the job, I love it here."

"Well?"

"It’s personal reasons. I have to leave Vegas."

Catherine’s face dropped. "What’s happened to you? Are you in trouble?"

"God no, it’s nothing as dramatic as that… Please, just pass it on to the right department?" She smiled weakly as Warrick entered the room.

"Catherine, help in the assembly lab?" He grinned sheepishly. "You too, Sara. Need all the help I can get!"

"We’ll talk about this later." Catherine hissed to Sara as they followed Warrick to the lab.

The Assembly table was covered in about a hundred shards of broken glass.

"This was a coffee table. I know there’s prints on here. To get the complete prints, I gotta get the complete table." Warrick sighed.

"You’re right, big job!" Catherine rolled up her sleeves, putting on her latex gloves. "Sara, pass me that ALS."

As Sara reached for the black box Catherine was gesturing to, she winced, the pain in her arm from last night returning.

"What’s wrong, hon’?" Catherine came around to her.

"Oh, nothing. I just hurt my wrist. Think I must banged it."

"Do you want me to take a look? The beauty of being a CSI…" Catherine grinned and plugged in the ALS, holding it over Sara’s wrist. "What the hell??" She gasped.

The unmistakable shape of a big purple hand print glowed under the light.

"Want to tell me how you got that?" Catherine grinded her teeth.

Sara had to think fast. "Oh, Greg! I remember! We were messing around, y’know, arm wrestling, and he must’ve bruised me." Cath wouldn’t swallow that for a minute. It was so not a ‘Sara’ thing to do…

"Uh-huh." She was right. Catherine obviously didn’t believe a word she was saying. "You won’t mind if we check with Greg then?"

"Of course not!" Sara laughed nervously as she followed her to the DNA lab.

"Sanders." Catherine shouted as she opened the door. "Wanna tell me about your little rough game?"

Greg spun around on his swivel chair. "Wuh?"

"I’m waiting." Catherine put her hands on her hips.

Sara stood behind Cath’s line of vision, widening her eyes at Greg, willing him to go along with her. "You know, I was telling Catherine about that, um, arm wrestle we were having the other night. How I got this bruise…."

"Ohhh… Yeah." Greg began to nod in understanding. "We were arm wrestling. As you do. She’s good, but she’s not that good." He smiled.

"Riiight." Catherine nodded, glancing between the two of them.

"Right." He confirmed.

"Well, I’d better get back to the Assembly lab. Sara?"

"I’ll be right there." Sara smiled ushering Catherine out of the room.

"What the hell was that about?" Greg asked when she’d gone.

"It’s a long story. You remember that guy I told you about?" Sara had mentioned her feelings for Grissom to Greg, albeit in code, the night they’d had coffee. It’d been her pathetic attempt to let Greg down gently – mentioning in passing that he heart belonged to another.

"The one you’re in love with? The handsome, older man, with responsibilities to everyone but you? He’s married isn’t he?" He gasped.

"No, of course not." Sara shook her head.

"Did he attack you?"

Greg and Sara both spun around to see Catherine back in the doorway.

"Cath!" Sara squeaked. "No. He didn’t attack me. We were just having a disagreement and he grabbed me."

"Sara, give me your watch."

"What?" She didn’t understand.

"Give me your watch."

Sara obediently slipped off her watch and gave it to Catherine. "Why?"

"Chances are, he’s abusive, and he’s got a rap sheet." Catherine turned on her heels and was out of the room before Sara could respond.

"What does she mean?" She grabbed Greg.

"Well, not being a CSI I would have to make an educated guess." He smirked. "And I would assume that the hand print on your wrist overlapped your watch. Meaning there’s chance of a print on your watchstrap. Cath’s very anti abusive relationships."

"Oh god. Oh god." Sara knew Grissom’s prints would be in AFIS – it was compulsory for all employees to have their prints and DNA on profile.

"What is it?" Greg stood up.

But Sara was already running from the room.

She got to the Fingerprint room to find Nick standing in the doorway. She tried to move past him but he blocked her way.

"Catherine told me not to let you in. We’re going to find who did this to you." He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Nick, you don’t understand. Please, you have to let me past."

"I can’t do that, Sara. You should know as well as anybody the cycle that an abused partner gets into."

"I don’t even have a boyfriend Nick!" She yelled. "You’ve got it completely wrong!"

Catherine appeared next to Nick. Her face was ashen, and Sara could feel the colour draining out of hers too. She knew exactly what result had been pulled up on AFIS and she knew that Cath knew she knew.

"Grissom?" Catherine shook her head disbelievingly.

"What?" Nick gasped.

"Nicky, stay there!" Catherine shouted over her shoulder as she ushered Sara towards the little door at the end of the corridor. Grissom’s office. She didn’t knock. She was on a mission.

"Hey." She shouted as she entered the room. Grissom spun around in his chair and looked at her, surprised.

"Catherine…" He paused and looked concerned. "Sara… What can I do for you ladies?"

"You can tell me why Sara can’t lift an ALS for starters."

Grissom looked blank.

"And why theirs a hand shaped bruise to accompany her sprained wrist."

Grissom opened and closed his mouth.

"And why your prints are all over her watch."

Now he just looked confused.

"Do you want me to spell it out to you?" Catherine was obviously angry.

"Actually, yes. Yes, I do." Grissom was his usual self.

"Sara has a sprained wrist, she’s lied, she’s handed in her resignation, she’s terrified."

Grissom finally looked at Sara. "You told me you wouldn’t resign." He said softly.

Sara looked away.

"It’s too late for that, Grissom!" Catherine laughed incredulously. "Your prints on her watch match up with the bruise on her wrist. You hurt her. Any reason why?"

"He didn’t touch me!" Sara finally gasped. She knew it was a lie, but she was resigning anyway. She couldn’t let Grissom suffer. "I… I’m sorry."

"You’ve got nothing to be sorry about darling." Catherine soothed.

"No, I have." Sara said firmly. "I’m in love with Gil."

Grissom and Catherine’s mouths dropped.

"The older, handsome man I was telling Greg about?" She continued. "Except it was unrequited. He didn’t want to know – always the consummate professional. I was so angry."

Catherine raised her eyebrow. Sara could tell she was unconvinced and had to think quickly.

"I framed him!" she blurted out. "I showed him my watch, to get his prints, and then I bruised myself. I’m a CSI too y’know. I knew what you’d look for. And hey, you’ve been played before Catherine – it didn’t take a genius to make it happen again…"

Catherine’s face dropped, but she maintained her composure "You’re lying." She said softly.

"I’m not." Sara protested.

"She is." Grissom finally spoke.

"So someone is going to tell me what the hell is going on here." Catherine said coolly.

Grissom took a deep breath and gulped. "Sara and I…. We… There was a kiss… But that sprung from all this bottled up emotion… It’s been there for years. Just a yearning, and a longing…"

Catherine blinked.

"And although we tried to be adult about it, I can’t stop thinking about her. Finally, things came to a head yesterday when I asked to speak to her about her relationship with Greg."

"You’re having a relationship with Greg?" Cath squeaked at Sara.

"No… I just convinced myself she was, because they were so friendly, and made each other laugh. And they were nearer the same age." Grissom answered for Sara as she just stood there wide eyed.

"I warned her off him." He continued, "Told her she’d never be taken seriously if she embarked on a relationship with him."

Catherine’s jaw dropped. "You what??"

"It wasn’t true – I was jealous, and selfish and childish. And Sara told me as much. She turned to go but I grabbed her. I couldn’t let her leave like that, angry and threatening to resign. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you." He said tenderly.

"It’s okay." She whispered silently.

"I told her the truth – that she was all I thought about, and we agreed that we could never have a proper relationship."

"Although I said I was okay about it, I really wasn’t. I couldn’t face working with him anymore – I needed a clean break. So I resigned." Sara finished.

"Please, don’t leave because of me." Grissom looked at her, his eyes pleading.

"I’m sorry I lied to you Catherine. I didn’t want to get Grissom into trouble."

Grissom moved over to her and placed his hand in the small of her back. "I’m sorry too, Catherine. I should’ve behaved more like a responsible adult and less like a spoilt teenager." Sara felt his touch against her, and her stomach knotted. She bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly. She was never going to touch him again.

"I’m sorry too." Catherine said eventually.

"Why?" Sara whispered.

"I’m sorry that two so incredibly intelligent people can be so damn stupid!" She sighed, exasperated. "You two are perfect for each other, and you’re obviously crazy about each other! Where in the CSI handbook does it rule out employee relationships?? It doesn’t. We’re all adults here, guys."

Sara and Grissom looked guiltily at the floor.

"Please, for the love of God and all that is sane in this laboratory, just sort it out, okay?" Catherine laughed slightly, shaking her head. She turned to leave the room. Grissom looked like he might’ve tried to say something, but the door shut behind her before he could decide what it was.

Sara furrowed her brow, and blinked. She looked at Grissom. His face mirrored hers. "Are we stupid?" She finally asked.

"No… No… We’re definitely just… Not." Grissom shook his head, and they both continued to stare open mouthed at the closed door.

The End.

I want to go to Magnolia Mountain...

A very old fiction...

Crikey

Umm...